T'Nuk

T'Nuk is the pilot of (and the minority partner in) the starship Jupiter 42. There's no nice way to say it: She is one ugly female. She's hard-edged and suspicious, her tirades can make a sailor blush and she's got a libido ten times larger than even her own enormous ass. But she also has a special knack for keeping Spaceship Bob the ship's uncooperative artificial intelligence firmly in line, which is why Chode keeps her around.

T'Nuk converted to "Dark Clownism" for her second marriage, only to find out that what she thought was a whirlwind romance of true love was, in fact, an "Ultimate Dogfight." In a regular Dogfight, the goal is to bring the ugliest girl to a party; in an Ultimate Dogfight, the goal is to marry her. T'Nuk's husband won. Later, after T'Nuk realized she was the punchline to an entire planet's dirty jokes, she made herself a merry widow.

As one might surmise, T'Nuk has a rather low opinion of the male gender. And she doesn't much like women, either. Or children. Or small animals. Or large animals....

"I wanna be a sex slave! I wanna be a sex slave!"

"How'd you like to take a free ride on a girl with
four gams and no gag reflex?"

"Well, of course it's crap that's what makes it great TV!"

LIKES:

Halcyon-flavored ice cream
Rough Riders (take that any way you like; she certainly does)
Little Dipper Dollies

DISLIKES:

Bob's lame excuses
Chode's sexist crap
Men who don't appreciate her fanatical devotion to Kegel exercises

SECRET AMBITION:

To sell her shipmates into slavery, buy them back at discount and have them all take turns abusing Chode until he whimpers like a baby. (Or to get the 50th Little Dipper Dolly on eBay; that would make her happy for now.)